December 25, 2012

It is hard to adequately state how awful it is not to have my dad her for Christmas. He is Christmas. I like the table mats and cedar logs my mom got us but it doesn't feel like Christmas at all, just she and I, hummus for dinner. I watched a bunch of Christmas love movies last night & tried to keep the pain at bay. I can't stand near the pain of losing him right now, I just have to pretend this is just some other random day.

December 22, 2012

Eric left early this am for Iowa. I couldn't drive because of my shoulder. I am seeing the aurora chorus with my mom tonight. I am very impatient with her as she is emailing me asking the time and parking situation. It is the same time it's always been, parking is the same it's always been! Not looking forward to these next few days.

December 4, 2012

Healing. Guilty about not being helpful at beacon. Just started if this then that, loving it. Worried about memorial.

October 2, 2012

Didn't want to go to grief group tonight. Had meeting with parks department developer. Dad would have been excited to be involved.

September 21, 2011

Inn of court last night was fun. Question of where to put bench.

September 12, 2012

So excited about my meeting with Mitra yesterday I couldn't sleep! Up from 12-3 thinking! I so so so hope it works out!

September 9, 2012

Starting beacon mortgage tomorrow, was this a mistake?

August 30, 2012

So tired, cried all night last night until bedtime

August 29, 2012

Wasiks here, shoulder hurts.

August 27, 2012

Gave my notice, really sucks.

August 25, 2012

Sactown

August 19, 2012

Mornings are the worst, having to remember again. Therapeutic walk/run in forest park to st johns bridge.

August 17, 2012

Newport grieving

August 15, 2012

This is a different day. Things have gotten worse so quickly. Comfort care has begun.

August 14, 2012

He's getting confused. Futher mucker, he says. And booom.

August 13, 2012

Cloud of depression. At the hospital with no idea of what is going on.

July 13, 2012

Settlement conferences with judge bushong all day

July 12, 2012

Forest park walk with Laura foster, mom, Eric and two more.

July 9, 2012

First dog walking solo, meditation from a bad day.

July 11, 2012

Happy hour w Sarah, she's moving to Boise!

July 1, 2012

Happiness project retreat continued. Morning walk on the beach. Home to kitties by noon. OHS interview.

June 30, 2012

Morning walk on the beach, drove down coast to Florence while mapping out happiness project months. New pendleton blanket, wine in the hotel room.

June 25, 2012 - June 29, 2012

Dad in hospital Monday through Wednesday, visited him each night. Phone interview went well. Aziz show on Thursday was amazing. Friday long trial day in McCall and drove to beach that night.

June 24, 2012

Bike to ohs, training a day, cleaning all night! Feel very good

June 23, 2012

Hillsboro farmers market, sushi with parents, Build Ikea dresser

June 22, 2012

Email about interview :), nightmare about personal training! Last training session pretty awkward but didn't let it ruin my day! Bday lunch w judge and Claudia, doctor, Mint for dinner, movie:safety not guaranteed

June 21, 2012

Bike ride in, good day at work, walked waterfront at lunch, hot and beautiful, loving my memory book, firehouse anniversary dinner, cuddling with Bearic

June 20, 2012

I did not let my bad personal training session get me down. I am loving my book: Moonwalking with Einstein. Visited parents and gave dad his father's day presents. 

June 19, 2012

First personal training, discovery of witness statements at work, physical therapy, Rami and Nina's- wrong day- crazy vegas story!

June 18, 2012

Today I got up early, went to the gym, cleaned out my inbox (0 emails!)--- or at least they are all categorized! I tackled a couple of nagging tasks, applied for jobs and helped my hubby make the house not so messy. Tomorrow I have to go back to work but I am glad to have a cleaner slate. Ebi was mad I didn't let her out that much today but she's cuddled up with her dad right now so I think she's ok. 

June 17, 2012

Father's Day: Fishing at Hagg Lake then Red Lobser - meal comped! Naptime at home then US open with dad and Eric. Indian  food with Eric to discuss Happiness Project. Glee Project and Mad Men. Not enough steps. Heavy heart.

June 16th

Ten-toes walk in SE, healthy juice bar! Sellwood antiquing, thai food, 5-year engagement movie in Montavilla, Fire on the Mountain vegan drumsticks, Nick Kroll at Helium Comedy Club. Action packed day with an amazing supportive hubby!

Today is the day!

Today is my 29th birthday. I just finished reading the happiness project a few days ago. In an effort to appreciate the good, learn from the bad, and capture it all, I am going to try to write one sentence on this blog every day. I hope that the sentence, or sentences, will capture some of the amazing little things that happen each day. And on the days when nothing happens I hope this will inspire me to make something happen!